Oct 162010

Originally posted 10/15/2010 on Hawkeye Nerd.

Dear Denard Robinson’s Mother,

We are sorry for your loss. Your son was a gifted athlete that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had your son heeded our warnings he would not have been crushed under the weight and might of the Hawkeye Defense.

While it’s not fair to place blame in a senseless tragedy like this, we feel you you would be remiss if you did not lay most of the blame on the Michigan offensive line’s inability to so much as slow down Adrian Clayborn and company.
Best wishes,
Out of Towner

While the previous letter may be a bit far-fetched, I do truly believe that both Denard Robinson and his family will not sleep well tonight in anticipation of the pounding the Hawkeye Defense has in store for the one-dimensional Michigan Wolverines and their star quarterback Saturday afternoon. That’s pretty much my take on tomorrow’s Big Ten game of the week.

Iowa’s Defense does what it does best, shut down offenses. And seeing as Michigan’s offense is more or less only one player, it doesn’t bode well for Michigan fans. Stop Robinson, win game. Got it coach Ferentz?

Let us not forget to mention Michigan’s defense either. It is an absolute sieve, akin to netting minnows with a volleyball net. It consistently has bigger holes than Jenna Jameson. (Wow, did I really just go there?) Ricki Stanzi and company should have an absolute field day tomorrow. I see no way that Adam Robinson doesn’t run for well over 100 yards. This game will be over by halftime.

I think it worth mentioning that I saw Lou Holtz on the television today predicting a Michigan win. Seriously?! You should be fire Lou. Did you even watch the way Michigan was man-handled last weekend? Or our trouncing of Joe Paterno and the Nittany Lions? What the hell do they pay you to do exactly on that show? Seriously folks, I’m writing a letter of complaint to the station. Send Lou’s ass over to judge America’s Got Talent and stop wasting my time.

So yeah, Iowa wins big tomorrow. Case closed. I wish there was more to say about that but I guess it will just have to wait until Sunday when I can poke fun of Michgan fans while once again touting Iowa’s dominance to the masses. So get out your black and gold, Hawkeye faithful. Our favorite day of the week is almost here again and it should be entertaining. Go Hawkeyes!!!

Questions and comments can be sent to pixleyjackson@yahoo.com.

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